A Bedtime Story

You're the best at telling stories to help me fall asleep
You do all the silly voices, conversate in make-believe
And I am wide awake I might've drank a bit too much caffeine
Can you tell a bedtime story to help me fall asleep?

Okay so two bickering bears are bumbling through the woods
When they stumble upon a tent
And they can tell there are two humans inside because
It has a "two human inside" scent
Now these bears are cold and hungry
As food prices have jumped across the hibernation
But they have a philosophical difference on
How to approach this tent’s situation

Big Bear says: "Let's ambush them, come crashing
Through their flimsy little roof"
(Big Bear Hungry. Big Bear Beefy. Big Bear See Food and Want Food)
Small Bear says "Why do you tackle every problem like a grizzly brute?"
(Small Bear Angry. Small Bear Tired. Small Bear 'bout to disapprove)

Because while yes, I see the merits of attacking by surprise
We'd get a meal but I can't bear to crush their valuable supplies
Imagine waking up each day and catching the sunrise
From this tent after we eat the chumps inside

But Big Bear isn't buying it, ‘cause they don't
Have the dexterity to unzip the zipper
And if they wait for the humans to come outside
They might be armed, alarmed, and ready to shoot them quicker
Than the bears can react, and then they'll go from
Two rugged bears looking for a good home in the woods
To looking like two bear rugs on the wood floor of a home goods

Small Bear says "I hear you but insist The benefits outweigh the risk"
(Small Bear still respects that Big Bear gets a say in all of this)
Big Bear thinks about it, then a wicked grin erupts across his lips
(Big Bear's grateful for a partner that communicates like this)

He says “I think there's a solution that will satisfy your needs
A compromise that will surprise these hairless little beasts
And if we do this right we'll leave the tent looking pristine
We’ll get our bed and breakfast... bearbnb”

So Big Bear says "The local gopher owes me a favor
From every day when I don't EAT HIM
So he can either reach in or dig his little feet in
To dig up underneath them and sneak in
And he can unzip the screen then we can both creep in
While they are deep asleep
Ah, come on let's gopher it, I'm sick and tired of schemin'!

So they overcame their bickering with simple compromise
And the bears began their buffet with some gopher on the side
And they lived happily ever after in their tent, sat side by side...
Then you kissed me on the head and said goodnight
Yeah, then you kissed me on the head and said goodnight

You were the best at telling stories to help me fall asleep
You did all the silly voices, made me honestly believe
and now I'm wide awake, mistaking every breaking branch and leaf
The next time we go camping I'll just stick to counting sheep