Hide and Seek

Again and again

Start over from scratch

Build up from the ground

The new kid in class

 

I tell them my name

Again and again

I try to be kind

and hope for a friend

 

And hope for a friend

 

It's like a game of hide and seek, they count to ten and look for me

but it's been half an hour, I'm still crouched behind the couch and think

That maybe they've forgotten me, gave up, gone to watch T.V.

but I’ll be hiding quietly in case they circle back for me

 

The childhood I had

An outsider in my head

Again and again

 

Again and again

We pack up and move

I skip like a stone

New school to new school

 

Unable to float

and holding my breath

Afraid to approach

Will you be my friend?

 

Will you be my friend?

 

It's like a game of hide and seek, 

they count to ten and look for me

but it's been several hours

I'm still crouched behind the couch and think

That I'm the piece they'd rather lose, 

the seed you plant that never blooms

A new kid much too nervous to stand up, 

step out or leave his room

 

The childhood I had, an outsider in my head

Again and again

 

Class we have a new student

He's a little withdrawn

He just moved here from Texas or Nashville or Mars

He'll be gone before long

So he's not worth the trouble

He's a novelty when

all the cliques are connected

The ephemeral friend

 

It's like a game of hide and seek

They count to ten and look for me

but it's been twenty years and I'm

still crouched behind the couch and think

 

That I'd be different had I known

that birthday cakes and milestones

wouldn't mark my progress growing up

like years of eating lunch alone

 

The childhood I had, an outsider in my head

I ask myself: without it, would I be the Bug I am?

Again and Again

 

It's like a game of hide and seek

but it's my turn to search and, see, 

I still know all the hiding spots

to check to find the lost and thank

 

The childhood I had, an outsider in my head

but never again

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